


That Time Pig-Pena and Peppermint Patty Made Out While Charlie, Linus, and Snoopy Watched

by LoverIan



Category: Peanuts
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, It started as a joke, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverIan/pseuds/LoverIan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Read the title, it's "one of those" titles.</p>
<p>Alternatively Titled: World Collider</p>
<p>This started as a joke, honestly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Time Pig-Pena and Peppermint Patty Made Out While Charlie, Linus, and Snoopy Watched

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this too seriously. I'm tempted to add more, mainly because a few people have actually said it was funny, or that I should write more, or that I should just plain start writing. I figured why not put this up on Ao3?  
> This was made as a fanwork to include in a fan adventure of Homestuck. One player in the session was to prototype Peanuts Fanfiction. I think the plan was for that to be Pre-Entry. I promised to write an excerpt for the work, in case they actually wanted to show a part of the terrible fanfiction. I ended up quiting the collaborative work, due to a mix of creative differences, and me not really agreeing with the planned plot. I decided that I still needed to write this work, and so I did.  
> If this gets enough likes or what have you, I'll write another part, or even a prequel covering the scenes that lead to this I suppose.

Their lips moved closer and closer, as Peppermint Patty's own quivered, Pig-Pen's stayed steadfast. One claimed to be clean enough to kiss, one claimed to not be a lesbian, a carpet bagger (Linus's misunderstanding of the terrible homophobic remark a passing pastor had made the other day), a citizen of the isle of Lesbos, and only one of the two claims would prove true. Pig-Pen had licked his lips, wiped them on a kleenex, had even used a new chapstick, and he was ready. Peppermint Patty had watched one of her mom's "special movies", that she called 'romantic' and 'funny'. She expected a pig to leap from the boy's pen as those lips moved closer, and they'd chase the pig around like in the movie she had watched. 

Linus moved his blanket to his face, trying to hide his shock and awe as he watched the explicit activity nearly come to fruition, or maybe it did. He tried not to suck his thumb, he really tried, he had been trying to stop, and Charlie patted him on the back, an effort made good, but he tried to get his friend to relax. He didn't need to worry so much, the nervous behavior wasn't a sin. Snoopy tried not to bark, tried to warn Peppermint Patty, but his Casanva Persona came through, and he started to do a wolf call, slicking back his hears as he made rocket-brows in anticipation. 

Then their lips met, and Peppermint Patty's lips were wet. So very wet, if you were to eat them they'd be like a really big juicy tomato, you'd have to grab a bucket to collect the juices, so you wouldn't be stained by juicy tomato bits. Pig-Pen nearly had a buck crawl over onto his lips, between them, but the centipede was too afraid, and crawled away. Centipedes apparently hated girls with freckles, or maybe it was just an ass. 

The point is, when their lips met, the grim reaper of centipedes did not drop by, chuckling. 

Pig-Pen thought things would remain a simple peck, and Peppermint Patty began to open her lips wider, her tongue starting to dart in and out of Pig-Pen's mouth, getting her own mouth, and lips muddy from the grime and dirt. She tried not to pull back in disgust, or else she be called a friend of Madame DeGeneres, even though a cake of mud formed on her lips, Pig-Pen likely would pull away. He didn't know what he was doing or why he was doing it, why didn't he just accept the insult, why didn't he just give up, this was his first kiss with a girl, why Peppermint Patty why why why. 

Charlie felt uncomfortable for the two of them, enough to where neither had to feel uncomfortable, he felt so very uncomfortable, nobody needed to feel it. Linus was sucking his thumb intently, nobody, not even Linus, knew the intent however.


End file.
